Title: quote from Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies trailer.
I am not a big fan of Tolkien's books. They are just not for me. I adore the world he created, but that time when I tried to read Lord Of The Rings trilogy or Hobbit for school, I didn't like them. Maybe I need a second try on Middle Earth? I was probably too young & stupid then. For sure because I'm deeply in love with the way Peter Jackson brought to life Tolkien's world of elves, hobbits, orcs, dwarfs & wizards.
Every single time I was watching each movie, I was watching it without thinking about original story from books. To be honest, every movie I saw because I was curious to see my favourite actors playing elves, knights, wizards, etc. That's how I went to Hobbit marathon last Friday.
Plan for the night in the cinema was very clear: at 10pm begins Unexpected Journey, then 15 minutes of "pee break", after that begins The Desolation Of Smaug, and after another "pee break" begins the pre-premiere screening of The Battle Of The Five Armies.
You're gonna cry, they said. You're gonna scream, they said. Well, maybe without screaming, but the last chapter of Jackson's Middle Earth journey left me quite devastated. I'm not considering myself as a geek girl, (however, I have more from a geek girl than from a normal girlish girl) or someone who gets emotional while watching movies, but OH-MY-GOD. Mr Jackson knows damn well how to play with fans' feelings!
Okay, now's the time for little...
My TOP 10 from #BOFA:
1. There's only one queen of Middle Earth. - Galadriel was stunning. Cate Blanchett is one of the most beautiful human beings & elves on Earth! It was such a pleasure to see her on a big screen once again. She had the power & the beauty. She was the saviour & the tamer. She was everything.
2. So much Watson, so less Frodo. - In LOTR trilogy, hobbits were annoying, but in Hobbit trilogy Bilbo was too cute & adorable to be annoying. Like a shy english gentelman, loyal friend & a true hero, he did everything to save the innocent & his friends.
3. #Barduil is real. - If there is something I was waiting for, it was Thranduil's & Bard's scenes. In fact, in #BOFA most of them they had together, so I was double happy! My inner fangirl was screaming, crying & floating on a cloud 9.
4. Go, find him, and then, you'll find the love of your life, Lego. PS. She loved you. - That was just heartbreaking. As long as I thought that Thrandy's
6. Sense of humor is the key to success. - Every "talking" scene was decorated with a little humor. Thranduil rolling eyes over Gandalf. Dain calling Thrandy a "pretty forest fairy". Bilbo's facial expressions.
7. Badass Elrond is so badass. - The Matrix tought him how to fight & he used this skill here. Very satisfying.
8. I am fire. I am death. - We can't forget about the big bad lizard! Okay, he's not a lizard, but the greatest dragon I've ever seen. Pity, that he couldn't survive.
9. L'Oreal commercial. - Don't you think that Hobbit movies are 3 big L'Oreal commercials? Just look at dwarves hair, they are so messy, yet artistic. What with elves' hair? Who cares that they are fake. Those hair are still better than mine, what is quite uncool.
10. #OneLastTime - As it is
Not-so-TOP things from #BOFA:
1. Smaug vs. Bard - like seriously? Everyone was laughing, while I sat there asking "Are you serious? Like, really?" & I thought that someone went a bit too much with the flow of directing. Well, I was so wrong. That was nothing in comparison with...
2. Jump, Legolas, jump! - I am wondering. Did Elrond went for another Matrix trip & took Peter Jackson with him, or Mr Jackson took blue pill of blissful ignorance before shooting this scene? No one, NO ONE, is able to jump like that & for that long. Even the elven prince. Even Legolas Greenleaf. I know that similar scenes we were able to see in LOTR, but there they were more natural, not so fake like here. Hope you know now that you overdosed blue pills or wine from Thranduil's basment, Peter.
3. What the f. are you looking at, Thorin? - If you killed someone, you should go away. No more lookbacks & for ring's sake, don't you dare to follow the dead body, because it may hurt you. Or even kill you.
4. And the Oscar for the most annoying performance goes to... - ALFRID! How this piece of troll's trash survived the whole movie is a mystery to me.
5. Interspecies love. - I'm a tolerant person. Yes, I am. But this made me laugh more than it should. I totally get it. Kili was unbelievably handsome & tall for a dwarf, but it was just a bit too much. Can you imagine faling in romantic love with a hamster? No? Me neither. Anyway, it was a clear message that love is blind & we can't tell our heart who we want to love. + love is painfull. As f**k.
So, at the moment I'm looking for a company. I want to share another screening of #BOFA with someone after X-mas. Hope to find someone brave enough to handle me.
To these memories I will hold
With your blessing I will go
To turn at last to paths that lead home
And though where the road then takes me
I cannot tell
We came all this way
But now comes the day
To bid you farewell
PS. Please, don't take my post too seriously. I really loved the movie! I just need to throw some things out from my head.
This may sound bad, but I hope it is the last Middle Earth movie.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I love Tolkien's world, Hobbit series (yes, series, because there was only one, tiny book therefore I wouldn't call it trilogy) proved that Hollywood is going in the wrong direction - money, money, money. Hobbit was made only to earn money. I know that money makes the world go round, and first trilogy was also made for money, but it was also done right. Hobbit - three action-packed movies out of one small book - nope.
I am afraid that it would be a total disaster. Maybe in 30 years, not by Jackson. I would love to see Morgoth in action, but not at the expense of ruining my impressions from the book.
With Hobbit movies the fact is that Peter Jackson didn't make a movie based on books but on Tolkien's notes. Someone mentioned this fact in interview. Hobbit is a book mostly for kids, that's why most of threads in book are told in 1 - 3 pages. People are hungry for epic battles, action & their fave characters. If it would be just one movie, based only on book - not on Tolkien's notes, it wouldn't be profitable. The worst things about movies based on books is that they have to be as epic, spectacular & interesting, to catch not only book fans and make them buy a ticket to the cinema, but also mere mortals.
DeleteHowever, as I wrote in my post, PJ overdid. He said once "The industry and the advent of all the technology, has kind of lost its way. It's become very franchise driven and superhero driven." I know it was about him doing a movie for Marvel, but actually, inmho, it smells like hypocrisy. He definitely overdosed technology & made kind of Middle Earth superheroes by that.
Hobbit movies would look much better if he made it right after Lord Of The Rings, or before. However, then cast would be completely different, what is not that good, because cast was chosen perfect.