12. The rougher the seas, the smoother we sail. Ahoy!

There are two types of girls. Most popular type is when they want to be a ballet dancers, to play a beautiful princess in "Swan Lake". They are usually also very pretty, but this is not really important. This first type of girls, very often is surrounded by girlish stuff, like dolls, pink & many more one-color-themed-toys-or-things. When those sweet girls are making their dreams to come true, by working hard, very often ruining their health, there is this second type of girls. Actually, there is ME.

I've never wanted to be a ballet dancer. Of course I wanted a prince on a white horse, but it was until other cool-fictional-boys appeared on the horizon.

I've always had a thing with pirates & nothing has changed since I was a kid. Around 14 years ago I used to play in many games, where I was a part of pirate crew under a captain who was my childhood friend, or I was a captain & my friend was my quartermaster. We were chasing non-pirate imaginary ships to get loot. There were also days, when we sailed to unknown islands with treasure maps to find forgotten chests full of gold coins. Yeah, good times.

Now I'm 24, and I still am a bit childlish, but in every person there is this child part letting us enjoy the silliest things, and guess what! Yes, I'm falling again in love with pirate stories. Some time ago I discovered a tv show Black Sails, which has only 2 seasons so far. For the love of Neptun. This is really good. Inspired by Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island story about people who valued freedoom sometimes even more than gold, stole my heart & four days of my time. 

Nasau, New Providence. The Golden Age of Piracy. John Silver, as a result of certain events, joins the crew of feared captain Flint. With treasons, plots and interpersonal dramas in the background, pirates are fighting for the survival of New Providence Island. 

However captain Flint is not the only famous character in this show. Under the black sails we will meet Anne Bonny with John Rackmann, Benjamin Hornigold and Ned Lowe, as well as also Charles Vane and Blackbeard.

I would love to recommend this epic story to every single person, who was ever interested in pirates. 

11. The worst kind of grave.

Someone said once that fear is the worst kind of grave, because it buries one alive. It is true. Fear can easily motivate us to fight, but as well it can paralyze us. People are very often scared of losing something or scared of failure. Fear of losing something mostly drives us to fight for it, to try to solve the problem, when the fear of failure stops us before getting from life more than we already have. In my entire life, I’ve met a lot of people with different stories and different view at some things. One friend of mine had problems with his girlfriend. He was scared that she can leave him with broken heart. So what he did? He did everything he could to make her stay. He was trying to change himself after she told him why she’s considering ending of this relationship. Fear of losing his love became so strong that he couldn’t resist to fight for it. Fighting was better than just sitting in a corner waiting for the situation to be clear. Actually, in that particular case he as well could do nothing. She left him, because it was too hard for him to stay someone she wanted him to be. He had hope that mentally broke him more than if he would give up. He wasn’t scared of failure, he wanted to try for almost every cost. But on the other hand, my mom had a colleague at work who wanted to change her life. She was working for the lowest salary possible, with an aspiration to have big house with bigger garden. To achieve it, it was necessarily to change the job, to improve some skills… She didn’t do any of these. Why? Because she was afraid that if she quit the current job, she will stay with nothing. At the moment, she’s living with her sister’s family and working part-time as a cashier at the petrol station. Moreover, she’s depressed. We should be a bit fearless, because fear won’t help us to achieve our goal. Fear of losing something we already have will drive us to hard, while fear of failure will make us give up before we even start. We can’t be fearless, but we have to overcome our fears somehow.

10. Under the banner of heaven, we dream out loud.

Remember when I told you, about my epic plans, about my epic trip, that were epically shattered into epic number of pieces? Actually, this epic trip was truly epic. It took me one month to get over it, I'm lying because I'm not over it yet and now I am finally able to tell you something about a trip to completely detached from reality city of Gdańsk.

The city itself is pretty nice. Not beautiful, as in my opinion Cracow, but very very nice. It also has some magic, but in Gdańsk there is this unique atmosphere of stopped time. Old Town is pretty big. Bigger than we have in Poznań, and much more mysterious.

If you'd like to look for a place to drink with friends till late night, there was maybe one or two. Instead of this you could easily find a man playing his guitar in The Green Gate & join him for a song or few.

Artus Court with Neptune's Fountain.

The fact is that Old Town full of people in a daylight, becomes a city of ghosts after midnight. Incredible contrast. We had only 2 days to discover this place & it wasn't enough.

W booked an apartment right after we knew about new date of the concert. It was hard to find something not that expensive & available for this long weekend, but we did it. Funny fact: the evening before our trip, someone tweeted something that turned out to be real something and we found out that our apartment is right next to band's hotel. We could pass by the hotel every time we were leaving our apartment. You should see faces of two Russian girls when they asked us how long we are walking around the hotel & we told them that we are staying right next to it. It was priceless.

Radisson Blu hotel, view from Długi Targ.

One of our faves was Mariacka Street where you can find stands with various products made of amber. We were walking this street even few times each day.

Stand with amber products on Mariacka Street.

St. Mary's Church, view from Mariacka Street.

Actually, out top of the faves was Motława river with all beautiful buildings & promenade by the river. It looks amazing especially at night. You can eat dinner on board the Black Pearl & who knows, maybe a pirate part of you will awake.

Townhouses by the Motława river.

Black Pearl

Green Gate, view from Green Bridge.

The main part of our trip was concert of obviously Thirty Seconds To Mars. We were extremely excited to see them again in Poland. It's the greatest pleasure to travel, visit new places on the occasion of your favourite band's concert.

The setlist was quite normal. Without any fireworks in the form of rare old school songs from first two albums.. Wait. There was one. They played an acoustic version of From Yesterday, which is one of my two favorite singles.

Intro: Carmina Burana: O Fortuna

1st: Up In The Air

2. 
   
3. 2nd: Search & Destroy
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6. 3rd: This Is War
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9. 4th: Conquistador
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11. 
    
12. 5th: Kings & Queens
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14. 
    
15. 6th: Do Or Die
16. 
    
    
    
17. 
    
18. 7th: City Of Angels
19. 
    
    
    
20. 
    
21. 8th: End Of All Days
22. 
    
    
    
23. 
    
24. 9th: L490
25. 
    
    
    
26. 
    
27. Acoustic set
28. 10th: Hurricane
29. 11th: From Yesterday
30. 12th: The Kill

2. 
   
3. 13th: Bright Lights
4. 
   
   
   
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6. 14th: The Race
7. 
   
   
   
8. 
   
9. 15th: Closer To The Edge
10. 
    
    
    

Top things to remember: Bambi The Deer passing by us at the concert; tv wanted to make an interview with me but I ignored them; our picture on dziennikbaltycki.pl; shared backyard; view from our apartment; and many many more...

9. Can you hear it? It's the sound of my heart breaking into pieces.

Have you ever felt this overwhelming sadness that your epic plans for epic trip were epically shattered during one epically bad day? No? Well, then believe me, it's the worst feeling ever for someone who's made to be on the road with friends.

When days like that come to ruin my mood I have those few songs, maybe not to cheer me up fully, but at least they are able to relieve some of my negative emotions. Actually, last few days were that bad, that I'm not even able to be pissed or sad. My inner Joker is awaken, so I laugh hysterically & answer ironically. 

So here's the list of my music medicines.

• If we're talking about Joker, this is one of my latest findings: Scars by Boy Epic. The song written for upcoming Suicide Squad movie, inspired by The Joker played by Jared Leto.

• If I should pick one song which can magically release me from all my anger, that would be Attack by Mr Leto's band called Thirty Seconds To Mars. 

• Everytime when I'm losing my faith, when I'm about to let go of my dreams & goals, I have to listen to Rise Above 1 which I found some time ago, looking for Bono's solo performances. Here we have one young artist from Broadway Reeve Carney feat. living legends of rock music Bono & The Edge. 

• I've always had something for Adam Levine's voice. She Will Be Loved was one of my fave songs not only from Maroon 5, but from all bands that I like.

• Once I saw Lost It All on YouTube. Curiosity made me check a band called Black Veil Brides because I've heard a lot about them, so I wanted to check what is so special about them. Well, I'm not in love with Andy & his friends, but this piece of music art is very close to my heart.

These 5 usually help me get through bad days. I'd love to hear all of them live one day. 

8. Are you happy?

As some of you may know, I am a hobby writer. I write different kind of stories, from fanfiction to my very own ideas. Once, some conversation between random people came to me, so I wrote it down.

***

- Are you happy?

- Would you be, if you were on the edge of a breakdown? If someone you love with all your heart left you in the middle of the biggest shit ever? If you had no one to talk to about this because they yell about what you’ve done wrong and judge you behind your back? Would you be happy knowing that your dreams will never come true because you’re too weak to fight with Goliath?

- There must be something that gives you happiness.

Her gaze went far away from the hospital walls. For a brief moment he saw her eyes shine seeing something he will never be able to see. The sparkle in her hazel irises disappeared for good the moment she turned her eyes on him.

- In fact, there is something that makes me happy.

- What is it?

- The same thing that reminds me about my helplessness and weakness.

- At least it gives you a moment of happiness.

- So what, if in the next moment it takes it away?

- You can change it, you just need a little effort.

Closing her eyes, she shook her head.

- I can’t change it.

- Why?

- Because I’m a coward. - She stared at him again and the honesty of what she had said turned into painful bodkin of anxiety perforating through his mind.

- You’re not a coward, you just need motivation.

Auburn hair shook in silent denial.

- I’m afraid of defeat and disappointment. - This time her gaze was empty, as if she was looking into her own inside. - I’m afraid of people… in fact, I hate them. One moment they talk to you and smile the most beautiful way you can imagine but the very moment you leave, they start talking shit about you.

They were silent. He was looking at her profile trying to understand what she had just shared with him.

- I hate myself for being human and doing all those things that I hate. I judge. I succumb to temptations. And I hurt my loved ones.

- It’s our nature.

- We fight with our nature by travelling on planes, wearing clothes or using new technology, so why we can’t fight with this? Because we are lazy and too weak. We are fools who don’t see their own mistakes and even when we do we choose to ignore them.

- Can you answer me one question? Why are you here?

- Here means where? Because I’m in the middle of nothing by my own free will, as if I want to be here, because by doing nothing I agree to be here, right?

- I was asking about the hospital. Why are you here?

- I’ve lost my faith. The faith in dreams…in God… in people. And in myself. I was too naive to have believed in them.

- Faith isn’t a bad thing.

- Until it rips your heart into pieces and deprives you of your soul.

- You haven’t lost your soul.

- No? So tell me then, why can’t I smile honestly? Why in — apparently — the most beautiful moments of my life my mouth is full of bitterness and the heart is full of sorrow?

- Because your expectations are too high.

***

I found this very important, because not everyone is happy. Most of people only exist, because they are to afraid to start living life to the fullest potential. Small things should make us happy - that's how living begins.

'To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.' Oscar Wild

7. And the nominees are...

Every year, between December & February we can witness how dreams of talented actors come true. From The Critics Choice Awards to The Golden Globes. They are not only awards but signs of quality - actor's value. But there is only one statuette desired by everyone - The Oscar. Newborn actors always say that they dream to get this golden dude one day.

The 87th Annual Academy Awards will take place on Sunday, 22nd of February 2015. Who's going to be honored by the members of The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences? Someone from the short list of nominated. 

Haven't seen most of nominated movies yet, but I hope that sooner of later it will change. Anyway, the nominees are...

Best Picture

“American Sniper”
“Birdman”
“Boyhood”
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“The Imitation Game”
“Selma”
“The Theory of Everything”
“Whiplash”

As soon as possible I need to watch "The Grand Budapest Hotel", "The Imitation Game" & "The Theory Of Everything".

Actor in a Leading Role

Steve Carell, “Foxcatcher”
Bradley Cooper, “American Sniper”
Benedict Cumberbatch, “The Imitation Game”
Michael Keaton, “Birdman”
Eddie Redmayne, “The Theory of Everything”

If I should choose one of these nominees for an Oscar, I would probably pick Benedict. Maybe he's an asshole, but very talented asshole, while Bradley Cooper for me is just a jealous asshole (still remember how he reacted last year for most of award-events, he was far from lose-with-honor face).

Actress in a Leading Role

Marion Cotillard, “Two Days, One Night”
Felicity Jones, “The Theory of Everything”
Julianne Moore, “Still Alice”
Rosamund Pike, “Gone Girl”
Reese Witherspoon, “Wild”

Hard choice. As much as I adore Julianne Moore, I know that Reese Witherspoon can be very convincing. 

Actor in a Supporting Role

Robert Duvall, “The Judge”

Ethan Hawke, “Boyhood”

Edward Norton, “Birdman”

Mark Ruffalo, “Foxcatcher”

J.K. Simmons, “Whiplash”

Edward Norton, Edward Norton, Edward Norton! Yep, that's my Oscar type here. Or maybe not. I don't like Ethan Hawke, but in movies, he's fantastic! & Robert Duvall is a class by himself.

Actress in a Supporting Role

Patricia Arquette in “Boyhood”
Laura Dern in “Wild”
Keira Knightley in “The Imitation Game”
Emma Stone in “Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)”
Meryl Streep in “Into the Woods”

I'm a huge fan of Meryl Streep, and I wouldn't mind she if gets another Oscar, but there is someone younger, but very talented. In my honest opinion, Emma Stone deserves an Oscar.


For the rest of the nominees you can visit oscar.go.com/nominees.
I can't wait for the 22nd of February to find out, who will take "the golden boy" home.

6. Life is a playground or nothing.

Title: Quote from "Mr Nobody", because everything is possible...

Today it's a time for few words about "Mr Nobody" - one of movies that I have in the middle of my "faves list". This movie isn't a one-time movie, but to understand it, we need at least few times in front of screen. Why? Well...

“Mr. Nobody” is a 2009 science fiction drama directed and written by Jaco Van Dormael, produced by Philippe Godeau, and starred Diane Kruger, Sarah Polley and Jared Leto. Film’s premiere took place at Venice Film Festival on September 12, 2009 where it received a ten-minute standing ovation from audience. The film won Biografilm Award and Golden Osella at Venice Film Festival in 2009, Best Cinematography at Stockholm Film Festival in 2009, Best Make-Up at Stiges – Catalonian International Film Festival also in 2009, and Audience Award at European Film Awards in 2010. Critic reviews described this film as thrilling (“The Hollywood Reporter”), phenomenal (“Première”) and as a masterpiece (“Brazil”).

120-years old Nemo Nobody tells the story of his life to young journalist. He is the oldest living men on Earth and the last mortal what makes him a very interesting object to write about. As old people usually do, Nemo raves and describes many people, places and events that seem to have no connections with each other. Those apparently different stories, symbolizing the choices that he had to make, mostly take place at the same time. However all of them are true. Nemo was able to live his life in all those ways without deciding which life path he wants to follow. He stayed with his father but in the same time he goes with his mother. He married three woman and each of them stayed the only one for him. He had a beautiful house with a swimming pool and other story he was homeless. Nemo Nobody experienced all alternative solutions, made all the possible choices.

The message of the film is that everything remains possible until the choice is made. At the beginning of the film and at the end as well, Nemo is surrounded by white things, like walls of hospital’s room and clothes, what shows us that the fate leads him back to the origins where the card of choices is blank and everything is possible because no choice was made for future.

We are bounded to our choices and our life can be whatever we want, we just have to make the right choice. Young Nemo had to decide with who he wanted to stay after his parent’s divorce. He chose his father as well as his mother. Every choice was heading him to another and every decision that he made has an impact on his life. By choosing we eliminate useless possibilities, so until the choice is made everything is possible.

“Mr. Nobody” is effective puzzle-film, every recipient can have an own interpretation but there’s no way to build the whole picture. For one the message is very clear and simple, when others are looking for deeper meaning. Like in life also here every meaning is possible until we choose which one we want to follow.