As some of you may know, I am a hobby writer. I write different kind of stories, from fanfiction to my very own ideas. Once, some conversation between random people came to me, so I wrote it down.
***
- Are you happy?
- Would you be, if you were on the edge of a breakdown? If someone you love with all your heart left you in the middle of the biggest shit ever? If you had no one to talk to about this because they yell about what you’ve done wrong and judge you behind your back? Would you be happy knowing that your dreams will never come true because you’re too weak to fight with Goliath?
- There must be something that gives you happiness.
Her gaze went far away from the hospital walls. For a brief moment he saw her eyes shine seeing something he will never be able to see. The sparkle in her hazel irises disappeared for good the moment she turned her eyes on him.
- In fact, there is something that makes me happy.
- What is it?
- The same thing that reminds me about my helplessness and weakness.
- At least it gives you a moment of happiness.
- So what, if in the next moment it takes it away?
- You can change it, you just need a little effort.
Closing her eyes, she shook her head.
- I can’t change it.
- Why?
- Because I’m a coward. - She stared at him again and the honesty of what she had said turned into painful bodkin of anxiety perforating through his mind.
- You’re not a coward, you just need motivation.
Auburn hair shook in silent denial.
- I’m afraid of defeat and disappointment. - This time her gaze was empty, as if she was looking into her own inside. - I’m afraid of people… in fact, I hate them. One moment they talk to you and smile the most beautiful way you can imagine but the very moment you leave, they start talking shit about you.
They were silent. He was looking at her profile trying to understand what she had just shared with him.
- I hate myself for being human and doing all those things that I hate. I judge. I succumb to temptations. And I hurt my loved ones.
- It’s our nature.
- We fight with our nature by travelling on planes, wearing clothes or using new technology, so why we can’t fight with this? Because we are lazy and too weak. We are fools who don’t see their own mistakes and even when we do we choose to ignore them.
- Can you answer me one question? Why are you here?
- Here means where? Because I’m in the middle of nothing by my own free will, as if I want to be here, because by doing nothing I agree to be here, right?
- I was asking about the hospital. Why are you here?
- I’ve lost my faith. The faith in dreams…in God… in people. And in myself. I was too naive to have believed in them.
- Faith isn’t a bad thing.
- Until it rips your heart into pieces and deprives you of your soul.
- You haven’t lost your soul.
- No? So tell me then, why can’t I smile honestly? Why in — apparently — the most beautiful moments of my life my mouth is full of bitterness and the heart is full of sorrow?
- Because your expectations are too high.
***
I found this very important, because not everyone is happy. Most of people only exist, because they are to afraid to start living life to the fullest potential. Small things should make us happy - that's how living begins.
'To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.' Oscar Wild
i love the way you write...
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